I find myself thinking only about "making them able to do things."

That's an expression of your care, and not something to blame. In common: increasing "can-dos" matters, but if it becomes only that, the child's "what they can already do, their likes, their security" become hard to see, and both parent and child can suffer. As much as "being able," "enjoying together and a secure relationship" is a foundation of growth. What the family decides: where to place your weight is your choice. A guide: "do you have good times other than 'did it'?" Now and then stepping away from "being able" and enjoying the time with the child itself loosens the over-effort.